How important is physical attraction?
Is there a level of shallowness when seeking physical attraction in a partner?
February is the love month. It is the month couples honor and verbalize their love for their partners to the world. It is also a month where I eat excessive amounts of chocolate and justify it by stating that it’s a once-a-month thing.
I have spent countless Valentine Days solo. I never minded it nor envied those who were in a relationship. This year is different; I am seeing someone, and this individual is incredible. He is kind, patient, understanding, and we are compatible.
Emotionally and mentally, we understand one another; he knows how to comfort me, and I reciprocate that. It breaks my heart when he is hurting, and he never wishes to see me in any distress. He views me as this perfect individual, but I struggle to gain the same spectacles. Of course, with time, he’ll start seeing my flaws. When that time comes, he can decide whether those small flaws are worth staying.
I, on the other hand, am struggling with physicality.
We have all watched Love is Blind, a TV show that emphasizes the importance of emotional and mental connection. Couples are placed in pods to fall in love without ever seeing one another, and if all goes well, there is a proposal and then a wedding.
The concept of the show is phenomenal. There is no prejudging, outside judgment, or peer pressure. The outside world doesn’t play a role in the outcome of the relationship. The couple is in an environment that allows them to fall in love.
When the physical attraction aspect gets removed, the couple only worries about the mental and emotional connection they share. The final reveal is not a deal-breaker because the couples have developed a strong emotional connection.
Once you fall in love with an individual’s personality, soul, and eccentricities, you also fall in love with the way they look and everything they have to offer.
In the real world, we prejudge before dating. Outside distractions, the media, family, and friends are all there to influence how we date. Once we get past the physical aspect, we begin to learn about our significant others and potentially fall in love.
So what about those of us who are struggling with physicality? Where does that leave us?
The individual we fancy is everything we want in a partner, but there is no physical connection, excitement, or arousal. All we desire is some form of physicality.
Does this make us shallow for seeking physical attraction towards our partners? Is it wrong to seek elsewhere, or should the relationship be given more time? How long exactly does it take for physical attraction to develop?
As I ponder these questions, I think of all the times I wished to be held and cuddled but could not be present because I felt no physical attraction towards my partner.
I do not want to tell them, being honest is going to break their heart.
How do you verbalize such intricate feelings?
How do you verbalize your inability to develop a physical attraction towards them?
Maybe with time, this barrier will be lifted, and you will be attracted to them.
In the meantime, I daydream of what it feels like being held.
How does it feel to be held by an individual who brings me comfort, a sense of security, and confidence?
Maybe the physical attraction isn’t as important, but it seems to be the factor that will move my relationship to the next level.
